The confession of a lie

I often feel guilty of the act that i am not doing things which i am suppose to do. But i keep on repeating the mistakes calling friends watching movies at the time of studying and even fighting with parents. That's my old teenage problem which a  every normal teenager faces. But what about the independence i would like to have in my life where it is i just wanted to explore the things with out  having any judgment by others . I want to get drunk although i dont like its taste have sex with girls flirt more live life laugh more spend most drive BMW make muscular body like that actor hrithik . So what's the matter even if i eat a lot of food this sweetu tooth hearty person want to live independent.so what's backing me up from my life rules tradition financial independence customs yes this culture also . Yes i wanted to live free where i am fulfilling the basic need of my life and then living without  distraction but my brother life is full of situations and practical people which are there to give u advices .i always remember somebody said me " dude advice is like an asshole never offer or  accept until asked for. I am expressing what's in my heart but if i see the other side the real one of my feelings for a man these things in a country like India is cool enough  a brave language but this men Dominating society for women and girls it is very difficult to live freely according to free will if she do anything to everything she want she is seen with different and strange eyes of this society . If she is very open with her opposite sex she is consider as slut or a characterless if she is drinking or smoking in society  she is from a bad culture family or often as characterless or it is commented it does not suits a girl. If she abuse in public to others her feminity is challenged in terms of her polite nature. She can't live like men because she is a woman or a girl . She can't express much because what other will think . Yes i am among all those men which say the same when a girl or women wears  clothes which exposed her body or either  men like us will think they are from upper class society people who thinks they wear less clothed because they are more modern. Come on man why we are ka point such society of people who is tolerating such ideas and livings. Sorry folks its India we are not suppose to express these thought because we are those religious people who loves our motherland but tortures and are two faced toward women.